Alienated

Often I sit and wonder, does anyone truly understand me? Does anyone recognize how hard I work everyday? Can anyone fully comprehend the sacrifices I make in an attempt to achieve my goals? Or is everyone so self-centered that they could care less about my feelings and my wants. No matter how much I support them, treat them kindly, offer advice it seems as if no one wants to keep my best interest at heart. Maybe I’m stretching it to say no one, but I can only think of three people who truly care although, even they truly don’t understand. It seems the harder I work, the further I push people away. Is that the price of success? If it is the price, do I want to be successful? I really do love and care for my friends and family. Without them, life would be incomplete. What to do….What to do…hmmmmm

Old School House Early 90's House Party

Check out pics from my birthday party. I'm sorry I dropped the ball on the invites but I planned it at the last minute and I thought James was going text message me the day of for directions. I got so caught up the day of setting up I didnt' get a chance to call.

What y'all know about the jeans worn backwards and the puffy paint tees!!!!! Y'all ain't ready, I had my whistle on (BLOW YOUR WHISTLE!!!)


Lets see if I can put these pics up correctly:

ARE YOU THE BOMB CONTEST WINNER

Jean Jumper with the suede inserts with matching two layer slouch socks, timbs and gelled down curly side burns

email me for more pics

Letter to myself

I do apologize for my absence but I have been taking time out for me to really sit down and analyze my life in all aspects. It has truly been an ongoing tough battle where there have been nights I have brought myself to tears. Through it all, everything happens for a reason and it is up to me to play the cards I’m dealt to the best of my ability.

My past revisited:
I consider middle school as the dark ages of my life!!!!! I have had terrible vision since birth and it was determined that I needed glasses at the age of one. Unfortunately during those years glasses were only made for children as young as the age of three. Sixth grade was the first year my vision took a turn for the worst and subsequently, my first year of having thick glasses. What an age to have them when looks and impressions are everything to a kid and their popularity. Elementary school I was the man...everyone knew me, and I was popular yet smart at the same time. I could get any girl I wanted to. The Middle school years rolled around and I was unpopular and no one knew me, they just knew of me as the geek with the thick glasses. Naturally, I got teased a lot even from teachers, making "real" friends was like finding a needle in a hay stack. None of my friends from elementary school went to my middle school. Hormones being in full effect; it did a number on my self-esteem going from getting any girl you want to none at all, not even the ugly ones!! So it was a real depressing time. Going from more friends than you can count to only four real friends in middle school is rough. Of the four three were female and the one male turned out to be gay. The only reason I became friends with the first female was because she too was blind as a bat and could relate. I eventually got to know my other two female friends through her. Ninth grade was no better being in a gifted and talented program which implied that I was smart and a geek because I had thick glasses. I was setup!!! Not popular at all, no teasing this time around. Just couldn't get any girls and making friends was hard because who wants to be seen with you. So that was my motivation to become active in extra-curricular activities and sports just to force people to get to know me. Luckily 10th grade year rolls around and those lovely inventions called contacts were finally available for travesties like me with horrible eye sight!!!!! Things began to turn around. It still took the rest of my high school years and some college to restore my self-esteem and image of myself to what it was in elementary school.

I know I haven’t blogged in a while and I apologize for that. The IT department is really cracking down on non-professional websites and blogspot is one of their new additions to blocked websites. I’ve decided to write my blogs at work and upload them at home when and if I get on the net at home. We’re getting old!!!!!!! I just realized that my high school 10 year reunion is coming up in three years. To make matters worse, I just realized that I have to plan it since I was the class vice-president and no one has heard from the president!!!!!! I guess I have to get on my grind and locate everyone. Wow, what a challenge.

Motivation

Reflecting over what I have learned academically and in the classroom of life, I have made a startling revelation. Academia has afforded me the opportunity to learn the principles and theory of engineering with very little instruction on its application outside of academia. Once I found a job that was suitable for me, I found that I had to face countless hours of training. After the training phase I felt like I was ready to conquer the company and excel up the corporate ladder. Only to discover the glass ceiling plagued by lack of experience, race, and gender. One might question, what is the purpose of college if you had to undergo so much training afterwards? College provided the foundation and framework in the field that I currently work in. Furthermore, college taught me how to be a top notch employee, or as I call it a slave to the system. The many sleepless nights you spent studying or lack thereof trying to prepare for that exam or lab report was all in preparation for the countless overtime hours you will spend at work of which you may or may not be paid for because you are salaried. The many sacrifices you made to finance your way through college is symbolic of the many sacrifices you will make in your personal life to maintain your job. Some of those sacrifices include time apart from your significant other and family, lack of vacation time and spare time during the work week. Some even traveled great distances for school or commuted unusual distances to class everyday. That is in direct comparison to the long commutes some have to work. That training prevents you from killing someone on the major highways (I-695, I-95, I-495, I-270, I-83). The challenges with records and registration at HBCU’s teach and prepare you for the documentation wars that you must adhere to at work and how to be aggressive. The ridiculous tuition fees and loans are symbolic of your retirement savings plan otherwise known as a 401k because we all know social security will not be around. You are told that a 401k is the ideal way to save for retirement. Upon further inspection you realize that you are investing in mutual funds which fluctuate on the stock market. Worst case scenario, you could end up losing all of your money have nothing for retirement at the worthless age of 65. At 65, where will you work, who will insure you? You have just been successfully entered into the modern day slave trade of Corporate America. I vow to use these frustrations to fight for more, to do better than the generations before me. Wish me luck and………GIVE US FREE!!!!!!

My mother is always trying to play match maker and this time she has done herself in. She has a picture of me on her desk at work and one of her co-workers commented one day on how attractive I was. That prompted her to also want to play match maker for her daughter. So the two mothers began setting up this date without either one of us knowing. Once they set a date, we were told. My mother called me today and told me that I have a blind date towards the end of March with her co-workers daughter during her spring break. I am to show her around Baltimore and DC and to let her and her girls have a good time. My mother even had a picture of this girl. Let’s just say I don’t find her too attractive. You can only imagine how that evening will go. Now I have to recruit three guys willing to take one for the team that night. I’ll keep you all posted as the events unfold…..

Movie Review: Tyler Perry's Medea Family Reunion

Tyler Perry masterfully blended comedy and drama and produced a refreshing film on the state of the union of the African American family and its implications. With an all-star cast and stellar performances by Blair Underwood, Boris Kodjoe, Cicely Tyson, Maya Angelou, Tangi Miller, Rochelle Aytes, Jenifer Lewis, Keke Palmer, Tyler Perry, Lisa Arrindell Anderson, the film explored many issues such as, abuse, neglect, love, and marriage. It is truly an inspiration, please put this one on the top of your to do list.

It definitely gave me hope in my quest to find Mrs. Right. You just have to be patient in trust in God that she will come strolling along when it's TIME. That time is not according to my wants, but based on my needs. Distinguishing between what I want and need is an extremely difficult task. I guess that's why God is who he is and I am in no comparison. Make sure you check the movie out and tell me how it inspired you.

The Heartless Soul of Man

Last night my neighbor came home only to find that her home had been invaded by a thief. They broke her window and entered the house through the rear. Upon inspection she revealed that the only things missing from her home was her dog, a lap top computer, and food from her refridgerator. Our homes are our refuge offering security and shelter from the ailments of the outside world. If you take the secure feeling away from home, is it still home? We work hard for the places we call home, and we take much pride into decorating and arranging them to express our personality and to make them sanctuaries of security and comfort. How can one live with themselves knowing they are taking the secure feeling of home away from those who worked hard to create it for the pure pleasure of gratifiying a selfish want? If one is truely in need, why not ask for assistance instead of malicously taking what doesn't belong to you. I feel sorry for my neighbor, she is afraid to live in her own house now. Single black female raising a small child on her own. Sometimes man can be so cold and heartless.